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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25866040">The ''dangerous'' Eden's serpent</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/1am_ly/pseuds/1am_ly'>1am_ly</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman &amp; Terry Pratchett</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Aziraphale Loves Crowley (Good Omens), Comedy, Crowley Loves Aziraphale (Good Omens), Crowley is a Mess (Good Omens), Ineffable Husbands (Good Omens), Romance</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 07:53:47</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>806</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25866040</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/1am_ly/pseuds/1am_ly</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>When an invitation to the Ritz becomes more conflicting than it should be.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The ''dangerous'' Eden's serpent</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Oh, dear, that's my first time publishing something in here.</p>
<p>This story was actually wrote in portuguese, but i really wanted to do something more risky ksksksks Anyway! I hope you like it :)</p>
<p>(In Portuguese, the name is completely different. It was actually a kind of expression, but I had no idea how it would sound in English and I changed it.)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Who did he think he was?</p>
<p>  Making a mid-morning call just saying '' <em>meet me at the Ritz at eight</em> '' and hanging up without waiting for an answer was the most offensive thing Aziraphale had done that day.</p>
<p>    Besides, what about that tone he used? As if Crowley was going to do what he said without a complaint. What if he had appointments that day?</p>
<p>     <em>Maybe a v-neck shirt would be better.</em></p>
<p>  Crowley didn't have to obey him, he was a demon, neither rules or orders were to be directed at him. He had fallen with thousands of other angels, led by Satan, had become an inhabitant of hell precisely because he <strong>broke</strong> the rules.</p>
<p>   <em>He snapped his fingers and his belt appeared. In fact, it took a literal miracle to fit those tights perfectly.</em></p>
<p>     He! Eden's serpent! The very being who embodied the temptation, a demon destined to create a problem on the day of creation! The being of sin.</p>
<p>  <em> Nahh, maybe your snake buckle belt was more stylish.</em></p>
<p>    Soon he who had orchestrated a hellfire barrier on the M25 -<em> okay, he couldn't predict it, but it happened and that's what matters.</em> - on the day that Armageddon should take place.</p>
<p>   <em>Damn! Why did he look so formal?</em></p>
<p>    <em>Another snap of his fingers and now he was wearing a semi-formal suit not so different from the one he wore casually.</em></p>
<p>   That principality of Eden was a complete idiot if he thought he had some kind of influence on a demon who had already seen Lucifer himself.</p>
<p>    <em>That adornment looked so ... uh. Not cool.</em></p>
<p>   Not only that, but it's not like he was going to drop everything he had already planned just to watch an idiot angel eat while he filled himself with a miserable cup of coffee and slid his own food to the other when he could.</p>
<p>     <em>Red suited him, but blue also looked attractive.</em></p>
<p>
  <em>     Another snap of fingers.</em>
</p>
<p>    Stupid angel, that's what he was. HA! Too ambitious to think he could have any influence on a demon who had already done cruel things throughout history, who had deceived hell itself!</p>
<p>    <em>Mmmm ... he definitely needed that adornment on his neck. That chain with the ring he had bought for him and Aziraphale would be very exposed and the angel would notice that the ring that Crowley kept goes perfectly with what he wears on his little finger.</em></p>
<p>    Snakes have always been famous for suffocating and swallowing an entire person alive. That bastard angel should pay more attention to his stupid books before he even dared to speak in that tone to him.</p>
<p>    <em>Right. The blue.</em></p>
<p>    Crowley was a natural being who could have destroyed his existence. Not that it even crossed his mind, but it could.</p>
<p>   <em>Her snakeskin shoes were so elegant ... Yes, there was no need to change that. Check.</em></p>
<p>     And he still wouldn't be wrong! He had a mark in the shape of a snake since the first day, everything about him was particularly demonic. Aziraphale knew the risks.</p>
<p>     In his years of existence, he had become attached to many human things and hygiene products were definitely one of them. Demons had the natural smell of sulfur and hell stank, but Crowley had already started working on it centuries ago.</p>
<p>     He had planned all of his on something called ‘‘ <em>agenda</em> ’’. Totally human. However, he felt that the use of that gave him a certain air of importance and more elegance to his style. Aziraphale did not have the power to spoil his plans so easily.</p>
<p>  <em>Oh, sure, your glasses!</em></p>
<p>  <em>A snap and the object came to rest in his hand.</em></p>
<p>  If he just didn't show up, Aziraphale would get real. He was a demon - <em>for Satan's sake!</em> - no one in full mental state would trust a demon. It's not like he cares about forgiveness either. He would have nothing to apologize for.</p>
<p>    <em>Another snap and a bouquet of perfectly ornamented flowers appeared in her hands with white lilies and roses.</em></p>
<p>
  <em>     Now, what was he doing ?? This was not a date.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>    Another crack and they ended up in the trash in his kitchen.</em>
</p>
<p>    <em>Crowley looked at himself in the mirror one last time and started walking towards the door. There was a small vase with a plant next to the small ceramic container that he kept the keys.</em></p>
<p>
  <em>     With so much demonic influence, the plant had developed a personality. Not a demonic personality as it should have been, but an obnoxiously cheerful and bouncy one. And now Crowley called her Hamlet.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>     He snarled at the plant, trying to frighten it, however, he was not surprised when it was not intimidated, instead she moved the branches excitedly for him.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>- Yes, Hamlet, I'm going to see Aziraphale.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>    Another complex movement with the branches.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>- Ah, shut up. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>     He hissed, taking the keys and slamming the door behind him.</em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>and OF COURSE i decided to publish something more ...''sweet'' about these two ''boiolas''.</p>
<p>sorry about my english skills, i'm really trying T_T english is not my first language ,so.....eeer... well, forgive me if something's wrong.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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